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Optimism is a mindset that everyone can use voluntarily if desired. To use wishful thinking, consider the following points:

1. Keep in mind that being optimistic does not mean denying reality. It is therefore important that thought is not only optimistic but also realistic. For example, suppose that it is night and your child or partner is delayed much, you know it is driving and very bad weather. Your thinking may be:

- pessimistic thinking, "You've had an accident." Thought-

unrealistic optimism: "He'll be fine, he / she is not never nothing bad can happen."

- Thinking realistically optimistic. "It need not have happened the worst, you may be stuck in traffic or has stopped until the rain subsides.'ll Wait and see what happens."

2. Do not focus only on negative outcomes. Considered all possibilities, both positive and negative thought need not have happened something wrong when there are positive alternatives (sometimes even more numerous, which more likely a positive result).

3. Trust your ability to solve problems and overcome challenges. If, before a problem, your first thought is: "I can not fix it, I can not, then you might not even try. Instead, try to generate ideas and possible solutions. If you can not think anything, wait a day or two and try again. Probably find a solution, and if not, at least I've tried to surrender rather than beforehand.

4. After a negative event ask: "What I can learn from all this? What I can get positive?" Negative events can teach positive things. Learn from them trying to focus on the positive lessons. For example, instead of saying, "This has taught me that I can not trust anyone" trying to say: "This has taught me that I have to learn not to give my trust to people soon, but expect to know better .

5. Keep in mind that problems or unpleasant situations are not permanent. Do not see it as something that will last forever. Remember the saying: "After the storm comes the calm forever."

Query: my partner had a relationship before stating that he lived a very beautiful and I admired a lot and now I fear I have nothing to offer or can not live up to what he lived with her former partner.

Answer: Possibly the error is to compare what you can live together with what she and her family lived. They are two different relationships. No matter how nice it was that relationship, it has nothing to do with your relationship, because every relationship is different and there is no reason to think that you can not be so special to her as was his former partner. Everything you should do together will be new, it will be with you. No matter if you have had sexual experiences have been satisfactory. Sexual experiences that live with you because they will be new to you. And the fact that these experiences are unique to it or not, depends on the relationships you have had before or on their degree of satisfaction, but the relationship that exists between you, love, communication, emotional connection, desire.

All that, when present, makes any experience is unique, although we have lived before with other different people. The same can be said about anything else you do together. Furthermore, having lived an experience once, does not prevent us re-live the second or third time with the same intensity and emotion. Think of something you really like and you'll have enjoyed it over and over again with the same emotion.