Many people want to find a mate and establish a strong relationship but on the other hand, are afraid to make a commitment.
There is a theory that human beings grow under a sentimental bond, since children are part and belong to a family in adolescence, are part of a group of friends in youth, family relationships are taking the world the emotional bond. The process of emotional development in humans.
Viewed against this background, it appears that emotional engagement is a planned way and easy to follow, but in reality is a complex learning, difficult and for which we must try very hard.
To begin let's define childhood in the loving bond is directed to parents, siblings and family.
In adolescence this bond is extended with a so called "peer group or peer group", which seeks closeness, companionship and enjoyment with friends.
Upon reaching the youth, he begins to awaken the need to share experiences with a partner, you start at the first engagement where there are already feelings and stop being a game to be with another person, and consider the link love man - woman, or if love between same sex (gay and lesbian love is given in the same way.)
On many occasions, in conflict with oneself and there is a need have fun and be with friends and just as the need arises to be with the couple. It is time that people began to make decisions and learn to set priorities in relations with others and develop more capabilities to share and organize your tastes, interests and intentions about life.
At the entrance to the stage of maturity (25 to 30 years). The focus of motivation is primarily focused on finding a partner, or to consolidate married life through marriage or union. Many people want to find a mate and establish a formal relationship, but on the other hand, are afraid to make a commitment and this will cause much unrest and conflict in the interaction with others.
Fear arises from the expectation of change and adaptation to a different lifestyle. We must also recognize that currently the messages we give and we give about having a partner are messages that carry a negative, the rest in life, that is, there are more things that we lose that we won.
The consequences of the presence of fear is being unable to realize a strong and stable relationship with a person. Importantly, this is not free or that there are people who do so with the firm intention of harming others, rather it is a factor caused by an imbalance between what we face and the resources available to do so. We face a situation in which it appears that what we have is not enough, whether financial, emotional or psychological.
is necessary to comment that anyone who ignores their skills, present fear of situations that require compromise, such as in a job, a family, a financial debt or a couple and displayed the fears and insecurities that make it more fragile and weak under the circumstances. In these cases, the person tends to flee because they do not know how to take responsibility or face the face of adversity and it makes things so abandoned, whether his own job, her partner and their life projects. But
and how to distinguish a person in fear consolidation a relationship?
usually are people who fear the commitment to themselves, with their autonomy, they are afraid to be accountable for their actions and consequences, make decisions, express their opinions, which is transformed into a personality that easily at first and later adapted to all conflicts quickly and blames others or circumstances of what happens.
are people from small not been in contact with their autonomy and responsibility. The family has a fundamental role in the formation of these resources and capabilities, which for many reasons are limited since childhood, such as protection from the child, before being abandoned by their parents but are factors in these kinds of people.
On the other hand, people who have learned to establish rigid rules, so that they are imposed, they will do well with your partner, children and other people around them. They are demanding at the time of sharing, giving and receiving of the other, because they are always wanting more of what they are about applicants and when the relationship does not follow the expected course, come the frustration and the chance to break free change, and almost always blame the couple for what happened.
This rigidity leads to a psychological need to have everything always controlled and lose the location quickly if they feel they lose control and try to recover at the expense of whatever. The paradox of the matter is that control is lost in the moment that is shared with a partner and then appears insecurity and fear that causes anxiety and frustration and therefore tend to avoid relationships with people who can not control. Its main messages are about to act as the couple, as they should dress, how they should put their relationships with family, who should be their friends, etc.
Other people, who have difficulty expressing their emotions, are introverts, they are very conditioned to repress their feelings and express them. These people have without thinking too deeply and hold conversations tend to be superfluous to not show their insecurities and feel inferior, are popularly called "self-conscious."
These are people who are always "buts" for all things and all people, as well as situations that have to do with the establishment of a relationship. Also very common is the ambition of these people is very high. Keep your expectations very high for others, which unwittingly serves to catch any couples get.
These people are always doubting their partners are never sure if the couple the right person, or in many cases attempt to justify their doubts in shares that are not necessarily true, for example, say that their partners are unfaithful or who prefer others to them, whether the family the couple will always find a "flaw in the conduct of their partner." They are people who do not know themselves, and this lack of knowledge makes it look justification for their own insecurity and fear, blaming their partners.
As they are not prepared to compromise, look for flaws in their partner or friends to relieve your discomfort and make sure that the cause of failure is that the other person is not adequate and thus evade their responsibilities easily.
Usually the result in the relationship is breaking due to the lack of stability and not being able to exercise absolute control of the relationship.
The common factor in these relationships is fear that causes the commitment, and this is an emotion that occurs when we perceive a situation of threat and danger, although it is not real.
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