What is resentment? Resentment is
:
feel hostility against a person or group that you think has wronged you.
unresolved anger over a negative event that has happened.
Enraged, emotional turmoil you feel whenever we talk about a particular person or event.
Inability to forgive, inability to let go and forget.
The basis of mistrust and suspicion that you feel when dealing with people or events that caused you pain in the past.
unresolved emotional pain you feel when you are unable to accept a loss.
The discomfort felt after spending much effort and energy to achieve something that eventually you lose.
The result of thinking you were a victim of unfair treatment without resolution the problem.
The prolonged suffering in silence when an open expression of pain is unwanted.
The resentment toward a person or group that you think you have been unable to accomplish certain things.
Feeling offended but remain silent when you think a person or group has ignored or denied your rights.
sometimes leads to depression. How does it manifest
resentment?
When a person feels resentment toward a person or group:
silently sulking in his presence or at the mention of his name.
was upset when music, a movie or a TV show reminds you of you have had unpleasant interactions with them.
Speak in a mocking or degrading them.
have nightmares or bad thoughts about them.
is blocked in their efforts for personal growth without knowing why.
feel angry for no apparent reason.
feel depressed, despondent, and finds himself going in circles when you try to overcome these negative feelings. Evita
mention or discuss any topic related to his latest angry or upset about them.
Grit your teeth and smile when you really want to cry when I hear about that person. Pretend
enthusiasm for being with that person when really rather not know anything about it.
How it develops resentment?
Resentment can be the result of:
passively accept negative treatment of others, never expressing negative feelings. OK
do something for others despite having the feeling or belief that you are being exploited. Try
others know your point of view and to ignore or deny the truth or wisdom of what you're saying.
View others who have not worked as hard as you think are successful and do not deserve the success they have had, that you should have it.
not get recognition for good work or performance while they do recognize the work of others. Work
hard and others succeed or prevent you from reaching your goal.
Someone who rejects you've tried to please.
Keep an impossible relationship with someone where you both if you like what you do, you get a negative result. Verse
humiliated or embarrassed by someone whose goal was to stoop.
be constantly rejected, unapproved, unaccepted, and abandoned by others.
be subjected to discrimination or prejudice.
be ignored, despised and rejected by a person or group who made sacrifices.
Someone in your care being treated unfairly without your requests to stop are taken into account.
Trying to please a person best but your behavior is never "good enough", whatever you do.
Realize that you are always one who makes the effort to bring this relationship forward, and that when you stop, the relationship ends.
make every effort to salvage a relationship, but the other person ends abruptly.
not ever have the chance to get compensation for the damage you have suffered.
What are the negative effects of unresolved resentment?
When you have not managed to resolve your resentment:
samples you hypersensitive or nerves when you remember the person or persons involved.
tend to deny any feelings of anger or hatred towards that person.
provoked or angry you feel when you see that people keep resentment against those who are recognized for their achievements.
you reproach your hostile, cynical and sarcastic, which becomes a barrier between you and the people they want to establish a healthy relationship.
you get stuck in your personal development.
You reject all attempts by others to get you to work on forgiveness and forgetting past offenses and damages.
resist all attempts to push forward with your life, including the suggestion that you have unfinished business with people from your past which you should work.
find it hard to open up and trust other people, especially in new relationships.
find it hard to believe that it will be recognized for your ability, courage, and accomplishments.
What irrational beliefs are at the basis of resentment?
Irrational thoughts are constructive thoughts that lead to intense negative emotions and unpleasant. Resentment is often accompanied by such thoughts that create, enhance and maintain over time without being able to solve them and move on with our lives.
No matter what I do, it's never good enough, so why try.
People going for me, so I reject them before they reject me me.
It makes no sense to resolve outstanding issues with people from my past who mistreated me.
all go after me.
Hard work, right living, and treat people fairly is a waste of time, do not get anything in return.
No way I can forgive or forget.
not accomplish anything of what you try. I always lost so far.
I'm destined to be a loser or a failure.
My life should at least be fair.
is best to put a brave face and endure, I'll never get anything with an open and honest approach.
I have never taken a break from the past, why should I now expect anything different?
What determines your success is who you know and not who you are.
Why do those people with little talent, working less, and struggle little, always seem to get ahead while I'm still stuck?
The price of hard work and effort appear to be failure and disappointment to me.
are all equal, why try to make friends or be liked?
never change, why try to change the situation between them and me.
There are always people more talented, more attractive, more competent and waiting to take my place.
How can you overcome the resentment?
techniques you can use to get rid of resentment include: Pets
unresolved resentment that exists behind your hostile, cynical and sarcastic, and decide to get rid of him.
Work on your feelings of anger toward these people.
Write a letter which details all the reasons for your resentment but not send. Identifies
triggers resentment (memories, situations, thoughts) and works to lessen its impact.
Do not get your thoughts brooding resentment. Focus on a different task and absorbing.
Try to see things from different points of view. For example, you can try to adopt the views of everyone involved. So you have a broader view and realistic.
can try to forgive, but it makes no sense to force yourself to forgive if you wish. Begins strive to accept that life is often unfair to everyone and you're not going to be an exception.
considers your whole life and everything that happens to you, good or bad, as a series of missions or work done. Some will be pleasant and some are unpleasant and painful, but all can learn something to help you grow.
Try to improve your self-esteem and sense of worth. Instead of focusing on the behavior of the other person and the evil they did or what you should do now to remedy this, try to focus on you and what you can do to improve your life in the face the future.
Ask for help from friends or relatives. Share with them your feelings and ask them to give you a hint when you slip into resentment. Change
thoughts about how unfair life is or the bad luck you have thoughts of change, hope and a better future. Cultivate optimism. I have things gone wrong so far does not mean that you will always go wrong.
Use self-affirmations and visualizations. Be prepared certain sentences or mental images for those times when you see your resentment and Tell yourself those phrases. For example: "I do not care why he did it, I have more important things to think about and spend my energy, so I will not stagnate with it." After an activity used to help you make the theme of your mind.
Ask yourself the chance to talk to the person involved and tell how you feel. Retrieves
activities or projects left unfinished or never even came to take what you wanted.
Five steps to overcome the resentment
Step 1:
To overcome the resentment toward a person or group you first need to identify who they are and what they did.
This responds in writing to the following questions:
A. To whom to keep my past or present some kind of resentment?
B. What did each of these people to hurt or offended?
C. How can these be real or imagined offense? Ie, to what extent am I being realistic?
D. What effect has the specific resentment against each of these people in my attitude about me and my future?
E. How I'm locked in my efforts toward personal growth by the resentment that I keep to each of these people?
Step 2:
Once you've identified each person to whom guards resentment resentment and how this has affected you, you need to develop a new way of looking at your past, present and future. To do this written answer the following questions:
A. What irrational thinking because I'm keeping my resentment?
B. How does the fact of getting rid of resentment help me develop a positive system of beliefs in my life?
C. How I can work my anger to be handled in an appropriate way?
D. What prevents me from expressing my anger in a way appropriate assertive?
F. What new behaviors need to develop adequately express my anger and get rid of this resentment that has my energy?
G. What I need to develop new rational thinking to overcome the negative impact of my resentment?
H. What positive effects in my life have done to get rid of my resentment?
I. What I need to develop new behavior to make sure no-show again the resentment? J.
What new attitudes need to develop after rid of resentment?
Step 3:
Now that you've seen a change in your attitude and belief system, you can:
A. Write in your journal a letter (never sent) to each person to keep that resentment. It lists all real or imagined offenses.
B. Explain why you think that that person treated you badly. Is it a real or imagined abuse? Is it a goal or abuse depends on your point of view of each person?
C. Forgive and / or forget the offenses, leave them in the past where they belong and look towards the future.
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